Photo: Scales by Aitoff on Pixabay
When it comes to feeling judged or being judged, some unpleasant sensation of defense comes to mind. It is not uncommon to reject the notion, to rebel against the idea of being judged.
And yet, we keep doing it ourselves. To the others’ or to ourselves. We measure against what we believe is right or wrong, well done or imperfectly. We constantly look at our actions and instinctively know whether we should be proud or not about them. But because it leaves us with a slight discomfort we seldom stop at actually judging that sense of pride.
Because there is a positive pride that can actually take us towards our best self when we recognize our identity and how our actions can best serve it. This pride allows us to stand tall and claim the respect from the others if we are mistreated. This is also how we can measure if we are mistreating others and it should not prevent us from making amend or working towards forgiveness: so that we can honor that positive pride and genuinely have no second thoughts about who we really are.
But if our pride is preventing us from striving towards our best self, and on the contrary serving only self-aggrandizement, this will certainly be judged unfavorably and measured against us.
There is a fine balance, worth thinking about: it is not easy to recognize our wrongs, our mistakes and yet it is the only way we can change the course of destruction.
Each year, when the holy day of Rosh haShana, the day of Judgment comes around I get to reflect about those notions that are not easy notions to grasp: it has taught me to become more flexible and less stubborn. It has helped me become what I recognize and judge as a better person I can now be proud of.
This year, I have committed to a daily blog in English to participate in @imabima’s project of Elul. I will dedicate my endeavor for the רפואה שלמה complete healing of מרדכי אלעזר בן חנה מרים (Mordechai ben Chanah).
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