#BlogElul 5776 #ElulGram – Elul 15: Change

ailing_treeAs much as I want to show how positive I can be when it comes to writing inspirational notes, and doing the work that will ensure I make the necessary moves to be spiritually prepared for a good year, the theme of “change” is a trigger to my fears and sadness.

The season this year has been extremely lenient, we are experiencing a drought that is unusual at this time and it feels like rain is long due. It rumbled but it did not break today. Maybe later when I am finally asleep. The windows are still wide open because the heat has not yet diminished despite the sun setting. I know that until some colder temperatures happen at night, the leaves won’t change into the bright colors of fall that make it so pretty to walk in our wooden area.

I noticed the change in my favorite tree next to our houses by the lake. I hope it is just the drought that gave it that rusty aspect. I had never noticed that it would change colors, to me this tree is an evergreen. My first thought was that it might be ailing, because of some sort of disease. It made me sad all of a sudden and I snapped the picture to see how it will compare in some days and to monitor the changes if any.

There is no room for life if there is no change.

It is inevitable. And permanence is reassuring indeed, but it can’t be sustainable. We need to change. We need to make room to the future. To the next generations. If they learn from us, we learn from them too. We can still change, even when we grow older, and the illusion that everything should stay the same for the sake of order is not healthy. We constantly change, because our cells are alive. Sometimes, fighting too much against change creates such stress and the cells may win the fight and start living an erratic life of their own. And something happens that make our world changed forever.

I am finally accepting a lot of what I used to rebel against: in my fear of change, I stiffened and hurt. When I am more open and flexible, there is more room for the flow of life, that goes with change. All the previous themes I have already reflected upon in this series are finding their place after they danced around in my mind independently: the dots are starting to connect, and because of acceptance of the inevitable changes, I am starting to be much more at peace with so many goodbyes that I have to say to what I knew and that is no more or that will be no more. I am ready to welcome the Fall.

This year, I have committed to a daily blog in English to participate in @imabima’s project of Elul. I will dedicate my endeavor for the רפואה שלמה complete healing of   מרדכי אלעזר בן חנה מרים (Mordechai ben Chanah).

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Otir

French blogger in the US writes on cultural differences, disabilities, religion, social media and politics.

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