#BlogElul Day 1 – Do

taking stock of the past year

As I was preparing for this series of blogposts, I wrote the prompts first as they were written and then proceeded to translate them into French, as my intention was to publish for my own blog, and benefit from the spiritual exercise, which is – believe it or not – easier for me to do in my native language (I wonder why: not! thinking in a different language brings different thoughts and thinking in English brings me towards action, rather than reflection, whereas thinking in French is much more an exercise in introspection).

 

Once I had written a couple of blogposts, I stalled because sometimes words do not translate well. That is when I decided I could pause and use my blog in English (here) to also play #BlogElul and bring the challenge to the next level, that is to use multiple media / languages / formats, etc to illustrate the broadness of what can be done starting with a simple prompt: just do it!

 

That is when I realized that I had accepted the prompts to be verbs in the infinitive form, to do, and not imperatives: “do!” because I would never try to guide my readers as formally as giving them orders, advices, or compelling inspiration.

 

And now, I realize that I could be stuck in paralysis just because of that. Looking back at a full year – an incredibly difficult one it appears – and getting ready to account for my mistakes and shortcomings when I arrive at the time of the Days of Awe is a scary task for someone who struggles with depressive moods, a strong tendency to ruminate and see the negative in anything she does, while wanting to be a role model and inspire others in positive outlooks on the world and on life.

 

Just do it!

Rather than fearing all that could go wrong and backlash, go with it and see what happens next. After all, when I all started this, blogging and everything, I opted for the “One day at a time” mantra, knowing all too well that this is all I can actually take.

 

“Before his death, Rabbi Zusya said “In the coming world, they will not ask me: ‘Why were you not Moses?’ They will ask me: ‘Why were you not Zusya?”

 

I have always understood this inspirational quote as a call to just be oneself, and just do it!

If the fear of not doing it right, or doing it as intended, or doing it as well as the others is simply preventing you from being yourself, that is the biggest mistake or biggest sin, because it prevents the world from having your deeds to be inspired by.

I keep having this fear of not doing the right thing. It brings me regrets. There is always a choice, and the inability to make a decision because of this kind of fear is extremely crippling. If I practice the “just do it”, I am hoping to feel more at ease with it. After all, this is only the first step.

 

This blogpost is inspired by the #BlogElul project created by Rabbi Phyllis Sommer of Ima on (and off) the Bima in preparation for the start of the Jewish New Year which is traditionally a time of reflection and soul searching. Whether you are Jewish or not, religious or not, feel free to comment and/or participate in these universal themes and add to the reflection and inspiration. Also feel free to see how I was inspired by the same prompts on Un Jour à la fois, if you can read French.

#BlogElul A time to reflect

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The time is here.

The month of Elul is starting tonight.
Which means Rosh Hashanah is in one month.

As we prepare for the holiday of Passover in the spring, with spring cleaning among other things, we do prepare for the High Holy Days with a thorough soul cleaning!

Time to hear the call of the shofar to wake up what has gone astray.

We live in a noisy world.
We keep ourselves busy, running after fame, wealth, success, power and attention. In the race we seldom care for ourselves. This is the time.

Elul, a month of reflection

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I will do my best this year to participate in #BlogElul and/or #ElulGram.

To see the complete original concept, refer to Ima on (and off) the Bima and join as you like it!

I Don’t Want To Be Afraid Of The Police | #Ferguson #MikeBrown – YouTube

@Chescaleigh (Franchesca Raleigh)

 

Source: www.youtube.com

See on Scoop.itUS Politics – Foreign and Interior – Since Obama Re-Election 2012

Becoming a White Ally to Black People in the Aftermath of the Michael Brown Murder

Otir:

As a “white ally”, I believe you have to read this excellent piece by Janee Woods on the issues at stake following what is happening in Ferguson, MO

Originally posted on WHAT MATTERS:

Michael Brown

As we all know by now, Michael Brown, an unarmed black teenage boy, was gunned down by the police while walking to his grandmother’s house in the middle of the afternoon. For the past few days my Facebook newsfeed has been full of stories about the incidents unfolding in Ferguson, Missouri.

But then I realized something.

For the first couple of days, almost all of the status updates expressing anger and grief about yet another extrajudicial killing of an unarmed black boy, the news articles about the militarized police altercations with community members and the horrifying pictures of his dead body on the city concrete were posted by people of color. Outpourings of rage and demands for justice were voiced by black people, Latinos, Asian Americans, Arab American Muslims. But posts by white people were few at first and those that I saw were posted mostly by my white activist or…

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The Did You Knows of #Autism #Parenting: Stress Levels

The Did You Knows of #Autism #Parenting: Stress Levels

Source: www.lostandtired.com

See on Scoop.itAutism Awareness Month

The power of feed-back

Lily of the gardenI have really been wondering why I stopped blogging as often lately.

One of the reasons could be because I am too busy. But it does not sound right. I do spend lots of time doing things that take time that I could skip and write instead. I have been writing regularly and consistently for days in a row, with discipline and determination, but I have never chosen to write and share publicly.

Because when I choose to share publicly, I am being very careful of what I have written.

I want to choose the proper topic, so that it would be appealing to my readers. Interesting and informative. Also thought provoking and inspiring. It then becomes more difficult to decide what will fit the criteria.

Then I censor myself a lot.

Then I doubt my syntax, grammar and style.

Then time goes by and somethings comes up to cut the inspiration.

If I get distracted, I lose track of what I had wanted to write about.

If I get interrupted, I lose the desire to share about the initial idea, and maybe another topic starts invading my feelings and my need to share about, but it does not fit the criteria of either being interesting, inspiring or thought provoking, it has become more selfish or attention grabbing and I resent those blogposts from others so why would I do the same to my readers and impose a boring self-absorbed post with no added value?

So in the end, I keep writing for myself, privately, with least efforts to correct, rewrite or build a real blogpost that would be looking like what I have wanted to do in the beginning when I had in mind to share my one day at a time, in a fashion that would draw attention to my passions and topics of choice. And in the end I resent myself for being quite lazy after all and neglecting my readers and my blogs, both in English and in French.

A sad reflection on a depressed mind.

Many around me often wondered why I was not taking medication for my depression. I have recently been working with a coach with the goal to achieve relief and inner peace and transform my outcomes in life, in order to truly shine and reach my full potential. I have shared with her about my mental conditions very early in the process but luckily for her, this was not a condition that she had ever suffered from, and since she is not a therapist, it was not easy to predict how difficult things were going to be in the process of our work together: I dreaded the moment when she was going to let me know that I needed to try medications again otherwise we were not going to see any progress arrived at a certain point, the same way it had always seemed to happen every time I had been determined to work on myself.

This could mean that indeed, the solution IS medication so that I can lift the lid that blocks my path to self development. Unfortunately, every time I meet that time, I have to remember that I have been on medications and that, if I have to agree that the medications were useful in some ways, they were killing so many of the other things that make my life have a purpose in other ways, and in the end the benefits were fading to the point of disappearing completely to leave me worse than before and I started being able to relive again only after I had finally weaned from the medications!

A healthy diet and a regimen of daily exercise have been much more efficient, even if they are much more work than just taking pills and visiting regularly a doctor and a therapist. Every time I have fallen back off the horse, I have seen the depression come back very strongly. Unfortunately, the exercise and a lighter weight and better physical form have not kept the depression completely at bay, and when it has come back, it has also impaired my ability to sustain the very hard discipline that it takes to keep the healthy diet and exercise, because it impaired my interest in everything including those things that were helping.

Sometimes, asking for help is not asking for a fix. Today, I know that the kind of help I receive from acknowledgment is greater and more effective than any kind of medication. I need the stroke of compliments on a job well done despite the perceived imperfections of it. I need the recognition of the work I choose to show publicly because I believe it can speak to others and reflect on what is shining and burning inside even when I feel it not.

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